I… May have sort of forgotten you… I’m sorry! I’d like to say it won’t happen again, but I do so hate being wrong later.
Quick - Look to your left right now! What are you fighting with?
US? We’re going into battle with a jumbo sized tin of almonds and an iphone.
Embarrassingly, it’s a bottle of Wen. Maybe I can condition the zombies to (re)death?
It’s gonna just be me and a bag of Chili Cheese Fritos. I have a feeling I’m not going to be making it…
A blanket. I can cuddle them back to the grave.
Kleenex, an xbox controller and a one-eyed dog. I’m super-duper fuxxored.
glass of wine, tin of hairbands, an iphone. It’s fine, I don’t need to survive it.
Ooo… I’m in like Flynn! I have an eight foot schedule 40 pipe with a rigid cheeseborough on the end. Suck on my pipe, zombies!
Dir: ok, move it to the upstage posish
SBO: did she just say “posish?”
LBO: yes. Yes, that is a thing that just happened.
SBO: ok. Just checking.
Auto correct thought I meant ‘thongs.’ I promise, I didn’t.
It is international call your father and tell him that you love him day, so go do that.
This. I’m going to do so now…
My friend posted this on the Facebook and I attempted to read it on my phone while standing in the house prior to house opening. I ended up no longer seeing any meaning in the word “buffalo” and crying with laughter.
Today’s best text came from my friend Ben. (It’s only 1:40, so there’s still time for you to think of something better, but I don’t think you can…)
Can he use his keys to my apartment to put food in my fridge?
Unless the food is rotten, I can’t see any downside to that.
M: We both agree on Thor, but I think we both prefer the 34th Street AMC. First world problems.
S: Ah, first world problems… Whatever shall we do?!
M: Complain about them in real-time using our handheld near-super computers?
S: Tempting… Perhaps I’ll simply tweet about it and cross post to Tumblr.